day 10- early edition
I was just thinking in my head here...
but..
If someone said to me Jennee I hate my job. what should I do ? id say quit. go get another one.
if someone said, I hate my house. id say move.
if someone said I hate my boyfriend. id say leave him.
SO WHY can't I quit this struggle Im going through? why cant I just up and walk away? I would do it with anything else. I've walked away before- I've quit before. Why can I not quit the whole family thing? Why can I not face reality? How many times do I have to be told 'No', it aint gonna happen. it's not meant to happen. it's never going to happen?
How many times do I have to keep trying and trying and trying. What's that saying- if at first you don't succeed try try again. When does that stop and when do you say. Ok already.
There's one thing I hate when parents say to their kids "you can do anything you put your mind to." Well obviously not. Is this not just setting people up for failure. You CANNOT DO ANYTHING you put your mind to. 95% of things -yes, but not everything.
How do I get over this threshold and into the next stage, of dealing with this whole thing being in the past? How do I move on from my dreams and learn that they were only dreams, not a reality, and never will be?
Why is it so easy to tell others what to do but I can't do it?
Why do I keep telling myself I can't quit because if you try one more time it might be the right time.
but..
If someone said to me Jennee I hate my job. what should I do ? id say quit. go get another one.
if someone said, I hate my house. id say move.
if someone said I hate my boyfriend. id say leave him.
SO WHY can't I quit this struggle Im going through? why cant I just up and walk away? I would do it with anything else. I've walked away before- I've quit before. Why can I not quit the whole family thing? Why can I not face reality? How many times do I have to be told 'No', it aint gonna happen. it's not meant to happen. it's never going to happen?
How many times do I have to keep trying and trying and trying. What's that saying- if at first you don't succeed try try again. When does that stop and when do you say. Ok already.
There's one thing I hate when parents say to their kids "you can do anything you put your mind to." Well obviously not. Is this not just setting people up for failure. You CANNOT DO ANYTHING you put your mind to. 95% of things -yes, but not everything.
How do I get over this threshold and into the next stage, of dealing with this whole thing being in the past? How do I move on from my dreams and learn that they were only dreams, not a reality, and never will be?
Why is it so easy to tell others what to do but I can't do it?
Why do I keep telling myself I can't quit because if you try one more time it might be the right time.
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Comment by star101 on May 13, 2008 at 2:24pm -
I realise this is probably a post that wasnt intended for any comments but I just wanted to say i think getting up and moving jobs/house etc is a lot easier than giving up your ttc journey. Moving house wont affect the rest of your life cos you can just move again. Im sorry youre feeling this way jennee and I hope you didnt mind me commenting x
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Comment by Jennee on May 13, 2008 at 5:07pm -
no- i post because i like comments ;) if i didn't want comments id keep my thoughts in my head and let the little voices answer-- hehehe .
I just don't understand how I can walk away from everything in my life except this. its like an addiction almost- i think i could even consider it an addiction. Ill have to look up the medical definition of that.
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